


A Question of Accurate Anatomy

by Snagglefanged



Category: Naruto
Genre: (Obviously), (kind of?), Creative Misuse of Jutsu, Improvised Sex Toys, Light Bondage, M/M, Multitasking, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Puppets, bratty bottom Deidara, sex by proxy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-11-03 15:19:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17880230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snagglefanged/pseuds/Snagglefanged
Summary: Deidara is bored and wants some questions answered, among other things. Sasori has better things to do, but might as well do something about Deidara's boredom too.





	A Question of Accurate Anatomy

**Author's Note:**

> My first-ever sasodei piece, written for certain friends - (you know who you are). Hope people will enjoy this one!

Deidara is not, by and large, a man of patience. He acknowledges this about himself, at least, can regard it as yet another way in which his spirit inclines toward the pure, transcendent beauty of art that is fleeting, an explosive impression upon the senses that makes its impact and then disappears forever.

It's the perfect aesthetic, and why should he be patient when that perfect aesthetic is so brief? If each moment can be a matter of art, then wasted moments are a waste of chances to create more art.

That does not, however, explain Sasori.

Deidara's not really sure that _anything_ can explain Sasori.

All his talk about eternal art, all the time he spends perfecting his puppets, and yet he hates to be kept waiting, for anything. Why would someone who doesn't age, someone so fixated upon the long view of things, fret about a minute here or there? If he were right about art, then surely he'd have all the time in the world?

Deidara sighs.

The Hiruko puppet lies open and empty nearby. Usually, that's the face that Sasori presents to the world instead of his own, and Deidara's aware that he's one of a very small number of people who know Sasori's true face. Hiruko would only be in the way, though, right now, because Sasori is tinkering with some of his puppet bodies again.

He actually has spares - of himself! That's one of the weirdest things Deidara's seen, and it's definitely kind of creepy to see an entire row of Sasoris, their faces sightless and staring and lifeless, all identical to each other, or near enough.

It's also creepy to see Sasori himself in the middle of them, holding another copy of his head while he patiently inspects the neck joint for any damage.

Luckily, Deidara's not easily dissuaded, not even when things are creepy.

"Hey, danna, are you going to be there all night?" he complains.

Sasori looks up, and his face rarely conveys much emotion, but he seems a little irritated. "Yes. You don't have to sit and watch, you know."

Deidara stretches and yawns. "If I wasn't sitting and watching, I'd be sitting somewhere else, and I'd still be bored, hm." He reaches out to prod at one of the puppets. "Are these really what you looked like, aside from the joints?"

"Yes." Sasori appears to be trying to ignore him now.

"So they're accurate everywhere?" Grinning, Deidara hooks a finger into the waistband of the puppet he's currently inspecting. "And if I pull this down I'd actually get to see something?"

Sasori gives him a suspicious look. "What are you getting at, Deidara?"

"Any of them have a dick, danna?" Deidara's grin widens.

"Why does that even matter?" Sasori demands, actually lowering the head he's been working on, which Deidara will count as a personal victory.

"Well, if they're meant to be what you looked like before you switched over, then either they do, or you never had one. Is that it? You never had one? Talk about a letdown, hm."

Sasori rolls his eyes. "I didn't have a length of steel cable in my abdomen, and I don't see you asking me about that."

"Or wings coming out of your butt, true," Deidara says agreeably, still grinning.

" _Lower back_ ," Sasori corrects, as finicky as ever about the details.

"Whatever, so, can I see it?"

"No. Why would you want to see it?" A look of absolute incomprehension settles onto Sasori's face, and Deidara realises, nearly bursting into laughter, that he might have to be even more direct if he wants to get his point across.

"Because I've got somewhere for you to put it," he announces.

The result is absolute silence. It goes on for long enough that Deidara wonders if he's actually broken Sasori entirely. Apparently, nobody has ever propositioned Sasori before? Or at least, not in any way he'd understood?

Admittedly, Sasori _is_ a wanted criminal, and he _does_ spend most of his time cooped up inside a puppet shell that's pretty ugly when you actually look at it, and most of the people who've crossed Sasori's path have ended up as carrion, or with their corpses being turned into human puppets... and when Deidara weighs all those little disadvantages up, he can kind of see why the subject might not have come up before.

"Don't you have anything better to think about?" Sasori demands.

"Not really, danna, when you're keeping me waiting for you to finish all of this, hm." He borrows some of Sasori's own phrasing there, quite deliberately.

When the chakra threads grab him and lift him into the air, it comes as something of a surprise, and Deidara wonders for a moment if he might have gone too far this time. He can't even reach his clay like this, and if Sasori decides to kill him right now, it won't even be a properly artistic death.

And then his clothes start to come off. Deidara twists and writhes, making a startled and indignant little grunt as his own shirt covers his mouth. His shoes are off already, and his cloak, and his pants - it's only his shirt left, and he's not sure whether it's been left there as a deliberate gag or not.

The shirt slides up over his head, dislodging his ponytail along the way, and Deidara finds himself dangling there in midair, stark naked, his hair hanging loose around him.

"What the hell?"

"Isn't this what you wanted?" Sasori asks, calmly.

"Well, yes, but why am I up here? And, uh, danna, you can't just - not _dry_ , that'll -" He breaks off, turning his head to eye the puppet body that's drifting closer to him, its face blank and serene, sending a little jolt of trepidation through him. _What the fuck did I get myself into?_ he wonders, and it's worrying, but it's also pretty exciting, because this is the most reaction he's got out of Sasori in all the time they've been partnered, and he might _finally_ be getting what he's been thinking about for _way_ too long.

"What, then?"

"Uh, my pocket, down there wherever you dropped my pants? Silver tube?" At least this saves him putting the stuff to the other use he'd been intending, namely putting aside that too-distinctive cloak and wandering into the nearest bar he can find to pick up somebody who'll get him off even if they're not Sasori. That always complicates things, anyway, and depending on how his night goes it can sometimes involve having to dispose of a corpse in the morning and still get back here to his partner before Sasori gets seriously impatient with the delay.

So this is a step up, really, even if it's dawning on him yet again that Sasori is deeply worrying as a person. It's not a dealbreaker, of course, but it is a reason to wonder just what's going to happen now.

"Cold!" Deidara squirms. The puppet fingers touching his ass have not a trace of human warmth, and the lube doesn't really help there.

 _Okay, he's using a spare body to get things started,_ he thinks, and it makes sense. He relaxes a bit, and waits for his own body heat to do what Sasori's lack thereof can't. It kind of figures that Sasori's approach to sex would be every bit as weird as everything else he does, really.

He lets out a little grunt as those puppet fingers slide deeper, find the best possible ways to touch him, and in response, it happens again, and again, until Deidara doesn't even care that these are a spare puppet's fingers, that the real Sasori is still sitting out of reach on the floor of the cave, because none of that really matters when he gets to feel like this anyway.

Those fingers withdraw, and he can feel the puppet so close behind him that every hair on his body wants to stand on end.

 _Is he really going to -_ Yes, apparently he is, and Deidara isn't getting to see it, but he can feel the answer to his questions now. He still doesn't know about the rest of them, but this puppet, at least, is definitely in full possession of all the required anatomy. A hiss of breath escapes from between Deidara's clenched teeth as the chakra strings casually shift him into position and one undeniably-present puppet dick works its way into his ass.

" _Ngk_ -" That one garbled syllable is all he can managed, right now, and as the puppet starts to move, he looks down and sees that Sasori is back to working on that damn spare head again. He's not even _looking_! That's just _unfair_.

Still, fair or not, having something in his ass is enough of a distraction that Deidara can't really muster up enough concentration for a complaint, at least not in any way more articulate than a few swearwords. He's not sure if he's more angry or turned on right now, because Sasori's fucking _ignoring_ him, and that's so infuriating, but he's also going to all this effort _just for Deidara_ , so it's like Deidara's won on that score, and this whole 'tied up in chakra threads' thing is weird and hot and creepy and so very, very _Sasori_ to do to him.

He's getting the _real_ Sasori here, spare body or no, the weird Sasori who doesn't even pretend to be human, and that's something nobody else is ever likely to get, which means that Deidara has scored himself a completely unique experience, one that only he could possibly have managed to have. That's a victory, and even if this is a once-off, well - _I guess a fleeting experience is aesthetically consistent for me,_ he thinks, before the puppet Sasori's using on him quickens its pace and he loses the ability to think much of anything coherent.

There are even chakra threads wrapped around his dick, he's realising in a hazy sort of way, and he can feel the pressure of them, stroking, controlling him right down to every last little twitch and shiver, every little movement that Sasori can allow or deny him with only an act of will.

It's too much, at last, and Deidara comes, swearing and shuddering and clutching at empty air, his mind going blank, emptied of everything but sensation. As that sensation fades away, he realises that he's still hanging there, well above the cave's stone floor, and Sasori is watching him with an expression that even Deidara can't read.

"Are you going to let me down, now?" Deidara asks, his voice a little ragged, still panting.

"Are you going to keep complaining while I work?" Sasori counters.

Deidara considers this one. He knows the answer that will likely get him back on the ground, of course, but he also knows that it won't be the truth. "Probably?" he says instead, opting for the honest choice.

"Then you can stay up there. I'm sure you'll recover soon enough to do that all over again, and it saves time if I keep you up there until you do."

...If there's one thing Deidara hadn't been expecting, it has to be the prospect of a second round. The first had been startling, but getting to do this all over again practically beggars belief. On balance, he decides, dangling in midair really isn't all that bad.

Not when it has benefits like that, anyway.

He shrugs, as best as he can, tilts his head to keep his hair out of his eyes, and grins. "Whatever you say, danna, save all the time you want, hm."

Sasori eyes him - suspiciously? appreciatively? curiously? Deidara's not sure - and then, with a quiet little grumble, returns to his repairs. 

And yet... maybe it's just the odd angle, maybe it's wishful thinking, but Deidara could swear he sees what might, just maybe, be the smallest hint of a smile.


End file.
